Ley de la Atracción PositivaAyudándote a Materializar tus Deseos!

Disfruta el ahora y todo cambiará.

En el momento que descubrí El Secreto, me di cuenta que había estado viviendo toda mi vida al revés. Si las cosas eran buenas en mi vida, era feliz. Si las cosas eran difíciles en mi vida y todo salía mal, me sentía estresada y miserable. En mi ignorancia, había estado haciendo mal uso de la ley de la atracción toda mi vida. Pero todo eso cambió cuando tuve el conocimiento de El Secreto.

Para vivir de acuerdo con El Secreto y la ley más poderosa del Universo, debemos estar Alegres primero – y entonces todo va a cambiar. ¡Vivir nuestras vidas reaccionando emocionalmente a lo que ocurre afuera es un mal uso de la ley! A medida que reaccionas con emociones negativas a las dificultades, atraemos más negatividad a nuestras vidas. No podemos desafiar la ley de la atracción, la cual opera en el nivel más microscópico de las vibraciones, y con absoluta exactitud.

Debes sentir Alegría primero. Y luego tu vida se convertirá en Alegría.

Los tiempos difíciles son las mejores oportunidades disfrazadas. Cuando nos enfrentamos a tiempos difíciles, tenemos que esforzarnos para entrar en Alegría. Cuando puedes sentir alegría a pesar de lo que está sucediendo a tu alrededor, tu vida cambia – ¡es la ley!

Además, a medida que sientas Alegría en los momentos difíciles, te estarás convirtiendo en el amo de tus emociones, el dueño de tu vida, y el maestro de la ley de atracción. Los tiempos difíciles son la oportunidad más grande para poner en práctica la Alegría.

Por supuesto, si tu vida va de mil maravillas, entonces es muy fácil estar en Alegría. En esos momentos la Alegría es más probable que sea una reacción a los buenos tiempos. Sin embargo, la magnificencia y el poder que realmente tienes en tu interior se verá cuando puedas estar Alegría en los momentos difíciles. Es entonces cuando se verá el verdadero poder que tienes dentro tuyo, porque a medida que mantienes la Alegría, cambiarás todas las energías del Universo, y tu vida y tu mundo cambiarán.

La causa de todo está dentro tuyo, y el efecto es lo que experimentas en tu vida. Tienes el poder dentro tuyo  para cambiar todo solo por sentir Alegría. ¡Puedes cambiar todo con tanta facilidad al sentir primero Alegría! Y nada puede cambiar hasta que sientas Alegría, porque esa es la ley de atracción. ¡Los iguales se atraen! ¡La energía de la Alegría atrae la energía de la Alegría!

Has lo que sea necesario para encontrar tu Alegría, y luego mantente en ella sea como sea. Aumenta gradualmente tu nivel de Alegría todos los días. No hay límite para los niveles de Alegría que puedes alcanzar. Veras cambios según el grado de Alegría que puedas alcanzar y mantener. Cuanto mayor sea la Alegría que puedas crear dentro tuyo, más espectacular es el cambio; y a mayor Alegría, más rápido el cambio. Una vez que sientes Alegría, es fácil mantenerla, debido a que tu emisión de Alegría atrae más Alegría. La ley de atracción continuamente le enviará más sentimientos de Alegría.

No puedes criticar o culpar o quejarte cuando sientes Alegría. No puedes tener miedo cuando sientes Alegría. No puedes hablar negativamente cuando sientes Alegría. No puedes dañar a otros cuando sientes Alegría. La negatividad no puede alcanzarte cuando sientes Alegría.

Cuando sientes Alegría, eres compasivo. Cuando sientes Alegría, eres considerado y afectuoso. Cuando sientes Alegría, amas a los demás. Cuando sientes Alegría, aprecias todo. Cuando sientes Alegría, estás enamorado del mundo, y el Universo está enamorado de ti.

Siéntete Alegre. Búscalo con todo tu corazón, y lo encontrarás.

Heading for an iDisorder!

Published on March 28, 2012 by Larry Rosen, Ph.D.  

 [This is a guest post that I wrote for a website to appear on the day my new book, iDisorder: Understanding Our Obsession With Technology and Overcoming its Hold on Us, was released. I am reprinting it here because I think it does a good job of summing up what I have to say in the new book.]

Face the Facts: We are All Headed for an “iDisorder”

It should come as no surprise that we are all hopelessly addicted to our devices, particularly our smartphones. Why shouldn’t we be? We are now able to carry a powerful computer around 24/7 in our pocket or purse. The new “WWW” really means “Whatever, Wherever, Whenever.” And we are all succumbing to its draw. Just look at any restaurant table and you will see phones sitting next to forks and knives. It is normal to see someone pick up a smartphone, tap tap tap and put it back down while in the middle of talking. Is this healthy or are we all headed down a slippery slope toward what I call an “iDisorder.”

An iDisorder is where you exhibit signs and symptoms of a psychiatric disorder such as OCD, narcissism, addiction or even ADHD, which are manifested through your use—or overuse—of technology. Whether our use of technology makes us exhibit these signs or simply exacerbates our natural tendencies is an open question, but the fact is we are all acting as though we are potentially diagnosable.

Several recent studies from my lab highlight some of these issues. In one anonymous online survey of more than 1,000 Americans we found that more than half of teenagers and young adults of the iGeneration (born in the 1990s) and the Net Generation (born in the 1980s) told us that they became anxious if they couldn’t check their text messages all day long. And text they do! According to the Nielsen Company the “typical” teen sends and receives 3,417 text messages per month. Teen girls top that with nearly 4,000 per month! If the teens sleep 8 hours a night (which is an hour less than recommended) that’s between 7 and 8 text messages per waking hour.

The study also showed us that the majority of teens and young adults check their texts and Facebook several times a day. And most of that is on their mobile device, on the go. How about sleep? In one study of 300 high school students, the average teen slept only 6 hours per school night. They tried to make up for it by sleeping more than 10 hours each weekend night but it still all averaged out to only 7 hours per night leaving a weekly 14-hour sleep debt. Eight in 10 of those students told us that they rarely or never get a good night’s sleep during the week. They must be studying so hard that they don’t have time for sleep.

Well, yes and no.

They are studying but the number one activity in the last hour before sleep is surfing the Internet followed by studying, texting and social networking. Are they simply glued to their laptops? Nope! It is their smartphone that is the cause of much of their sleep debt. Not only is it used instead of a computer, but most teens sleep with it on vibrate or tone and one in four are awakened at night by a text or email that they respond to before attempting to fall back asleep. And most of those activities are done either at the same time or by rapidly switching back and forth. We all multitask – well we are really task switching – and the younger generations do it more but we are all succumbing to the allure of clicking and switching.

It’s not just the younger generations who are inundated by technology. One in three Gen Xers and one in six Baby Boomers check their devices all the time. They may not be texting as much but they are constantly checking in with websites, email and other cyberactivities.

Our most surprising study examined a thousand teens and adults to see whether technology use might be related to signs and symptoms of psychiatric disorders. The short answer is YES. For each generation, regardless of ethnic background, socioeconomic status, or gender, the more certain technologies are used the more likely it is that the person will exhibit these signs. Different technologies appear to be predictive of different signs. One of the major culprits is social networking, which is a predictor of many disorders.

Do we need to take a permanent holiday from our technology or is there an iCure for an iDisorder? The outlook is very positive if we recognize the signs and learn to take small steps to keep our brains healthy and sane. Here are sample strategies. More can be found in my new book, iDisorder: Understanding Our Obsession With Technology and Overcoming its Hold on Us.

• Social networking can be all about “ME” and it can make us appear narcissistic. I advocate using an “e-waiting” period between writing any post, email, text or comment and pressing the key that offers it to the world. Take a couple of minutes, do something else, and then come back and count the times you use the words “me” or “I” compared to the number of times you use the words “we,” “us,” “they” or other inclusive pronouns. One of the signs of narcissism is a focus on the self and our specialness. Sometimes it helps us break out of the me, me, me mode by focusing on other people in our lives and commenting about their posts and their photos. Remember, though, that although you may be feeling somewhat anonymous writing posts and comments behind a screen, there is a real person made of flesh and blookd at the other end and your words will have an impact on that person. Be gently and use your e-waiting period to let you reevaluate what you say in any electronic communication. 
• At the dinner table declare a “tech break” at the beginning of the meal and have everyone check their phones for a minute and then silence them and place them upside down on the table. Now talk for 15 minutes followed by someone declaring another “tech break.” The upside down silent phone is a stimulus that says, “Don’t worry – you can check me soon.” This stops the brain from obsessing about every little e-communication.
• Using technology evokes excessive mental activity so much so that our brains are all abuzz all day long. Your brain needs periodic resetting. This doesn’t take a lot of time. Fifteen minutes of walking through nature (or even looking at a nature picture book), doing puzzles, or talking to someone about something fun and positive are just a few ways to reset your brain. Consider doing one of these activities every few hours to calm the brain and stop the potential iDisorder.

There is no turning back. We live in a connected world and we are better because of it. We know more than ever before and we are more social than ever before. But we have to learn to take care of our brains to avoid an iDisorder. Don’t blame Steve Jobs for your compulsions. Take control and do something good for your brain. You will be a better person for it and have better relationships with those around you.

Do Something Different

How to use the other 9/10ths of your personality

by Ben (C) Fletcher, D.Phil. (Oxon)

Do you say one thing but do another?

by Ben (C) Fletcher, D.Phil. (Oxon) in Do Something Different

By this I don’t mean you’re a Walter Mitty type, or you turn into a superhero at sundown. No, I am simply asking whether parts of your life are out of sync with each other. Whether you ever say one thing yet do the opposite. Here are a few everyday examples:

• Roger wears a safety helmet when cycling—then stops and has a cigarette.
• Craig chooses a foreign holiday but is upset when he can’t get his favourite beer and there are olives in the salad.
• The obese Smith family wear the latest sports clothing but never exercise.
• Marty is obsessive about recycling but flies long-haul.
• Carol loves watching cookery programmes but lives on take-aways.
• Jim has renewed his wedding vows and is sleeping with his secretary.
• Kath tries to park as close as possible to the gym where she is going to an exercise class.
• Hayley has credit card debts and a cupboard full of dresses and shoes she’s hardly ever worn.

We don’t always act according to our conscious thoughts and our spoken utterances. Unconscious forces also drive our behaviour. These include our habits of thinking and behaviour; habits that come from living life on autopilot and that disconnect our actions from what we really want.

A model to explain this sees people in terms of their experiencing self and their reflecting self.

• The experiencing self is our on-line experience as it happens. It includes how we automatically perceive, feel and think at the time we are doing something. It’s where our habits reside.
• The reflecting self is our concept of ourselves, our memories and the way we see, and want to see, ourselves in the past and future.

Difficulties arise when these two aspects of the self are at odds with each other. Take relationships, for example. Jack wants to be a kind and loving partner. Yet he has developed habits and reactions that mean he acts in cold or uncaring ways. Laura really wants to be fit and healthy. Yet she has work, exercise and eating habits that prevent this.

I call the gulf between the two aspects of the self, incoherence. When a person is incoherent their reflections (what they say or want) are at odds with their experiences (what they do). The way we are is determined by the interaction between the experiencing self and the reflecting self:

The experiencing self functions most of the time without effort. It is influenced heavily by automatic triggers, and the demands of gratification. These habitual automatic processes often have the upper hand in determining what we think and do at any point in time. This self uses fewer of the brain’s resources.

The reflecting self remembers what we have done before and what our intentions are. It can influence what we do by exerting effort and conscious control but that is more effortful. It may contribute to our feelings at the time by automatic reactions (of guilt, for example, if we are experiencing something our reflecting self knows is bad for us).

Incoherence between the two selves is in us all to some extent. Becoming more coherent is the key to being more comfortable with yourself, getting on with others, positive behavioural change, and being successful.

How incoherent are you?
When people are incoherent there will always be some fallout or damage, either to themselves or others. The examples at the start of this blog may seem rather flippant, in reality people’s incoherencies can run far deeper than just a few surface behaviours.

Aligning the experiencing (habitual) self and the reflecting (considering) selves is fundamental to understanding how we can achieve positive change. In my experience, people cannot change for the good without tackling both the experiencing and the reflecting selves. Personal development has to alter the way we experience ourselves and our world. It also has to alter our repertoire of behaviours and the way we react to things. Without both these elements changes will be neither permanent or helpful.

Doing Something Different brings about greater coherence in the individual. Small new behaviours affect both elements of the self and help to bring them into alignment. Many people go through life saying one thing and doing another. Living one life but wishing for something else. Personal coherence is the mark of someone who has all parts of their life aligned. What they do and what they say are connected. They are not held back by habits or personal limitations, and they are totally at ease with themselves and their world. Their experiencing and reflecting selves are living in harmony together. In the end, the hallmarks of the incoherent person—doing one thing and saying another—disappear

by Melissa

The Beatles famously sang, “All you need is love, love, love, love is all you need.”

So many of us buy into this simplistic belief and think that love conquers all.

Many of us rush into marriage and ignore the red flags that are before us, thinking problems will work themselves out after we are married.  The sad truth is that marriage often serves to amplify problems, not solve them.

Kathy Chu of USA Today puts it perfectly when she states,

“If love is the tie that binds couples together, money is often the wrench that pries them apart.”

Maybe in the past arguments about money in marriage could be blamed on societal pressures for people to marry early and for the expectation of the wife to quietly allow her husband to make the financial decisions, but those days are long gone in our society.

Now, women often make more than the men they marry.

The average age for marriage in the United States is now almost 26 for women and almost 28 for men (USA Today).  That allows individuals plenty of time to become settled in their careers, support themselves, and spend and save money however they would like.

Unfortunately, once money patterns are ingrained in individuals, they are often difficult to change.

Because individuals tend to gloss over a partner’s potential flaws when dating, they may be surprised once married to find that their views on money do not match their partner’s.

According to USA Today, “Couples don’t talk much about money before committing to each other. Nearly two-thirds of married couples who responded toUSA TODAY’s poll said they talked little or not at all before the wedding about how to combine their finances.”

Before you walk down the aisle, make sure to look closely at your partner’s spending AND saving habits as well as his credit score.

Doesn’t sound romantic?  It isn’t, but neither is divorce.

Consider these 5 qualities when evaluating a potential partner:

How open is he about his finances? 

Love alone doesn’t overcome money problems in a relationship.

If you are dating someone for several months who won’t talk about his finances, you may want to walk away from the relationship.

Chances are he has something to hide or is ashamed about his finances.

If he won’t talk to you about finances now, it probably won’t be any better once you marry.  Worst case scenario, he may have filed bankruptcy in the past or may have a level of debt he is ashamed of.

Many people find out years after they are married that their spouse has secretly run up thousands of dollars worth of credit card debt.  Best case scenario, you will constantly have to fight him to discuss money issues.

How much debt does he have and what kind is it? 

If your partner is willing to open up to you about finances, consider how much debt he has.

Of course, there are different types of debt.

He may have student loan debt because he had little or no parental help paying his way through college or because he went to an expensive school.  That can be seen in a different light than credit card debt, which may just show that he is spending too freely.

Even student loan debt, however, should be weighed carefully.

If his student loan debt is in the tens of thousands of dollars, recognize that either the debt will be with you for a long while or that you will have to work aggressively to pay it down.

Does he have a repayment plan?

If you find that your potential spouse has debt, is he working to pay it down, or is he just making the minimum payments?

Consider how comfortable he is with the debt load he has.

Some experts recommend waiting to marry if your partner is on shaky financial ground to see if he is willing to improve his financial situation and pay off his debts so you can both enter the marriage debt free.

Is he willing to change?

If you are a saver and your boyfriend is a spender, is he willing to change his behavior?

John and Katy had two completely different money personalities; Katy loved to save and paid cash for everything, including vehicles.  John was a spendthrift and hadn’t saved anything.

When Katy expressed her concerns, John agreed to work on changing his ways.  They have been married 10 years and live in a completely paid for house and own cars they purchased with cash.  Now, John is just as frugal as Katy.

These types of changes are rare, but they can happen.

It is worth delaying marriage to see if your partner can sustain the changes.

How will joint finances be handled? 

Before marriage, it is wise to agree on who will handle the day-to-day as well as the long-term financial decisions.

It is best to handle them together, but that doesn’t work for all couples.  If you agree on who will handle the finances, you will save yourself much arguing in the future.  Agreeing on whether you will merge your money together or hold separate accounts is also an important discussion.

In an age where Americans tend to spend more than they earn and are saddled with both student loan and credit card debt, avoiding arguments about money is not easy.

Still, there are important observations and discussions you should have with your partner before marriage to make sure you can agree on your finances.  These discussions aren’t romantic, but they may save you plenty of money and heartache in the future.

Divorce can hit both partners hard, but women tend to suffer more financially.

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, women who divorced in the last 12 months were more likely than men to “receive public assistance, earn less income, and to live in poverty.”   Each partner should make sure that the one they are with is a good match for them so they can have a successful marriage, but financially, women have a greater stake in choosing the right partner.

 Por María Marín

 Todos sufrimos de una mala costumbre que quisiéramos dejar. ¿Cuál es la tuya? Reflexiona en aquello que poco a poco se ha convertido en una carga que no te trae ningún beneficio y por más que quieres deshacerte de ella, simplemente no lo logras.

Tal vez  tienes la mala costumbre de tener tu casa desorganizada, a lo mejor tienes el mal hábito de fumar o quizás tienes la manía de acostarte en el sofá a ver televisión después de haber comido como un “desesperado”. Sin darte cuenta convertiste algo que te perjudicaba en una rutina diaria.

¡Qué fácil es agarrar un mal hábito y qué difícil es dejarlo! Pero hoy te traigo la buena noticia que cualquier mal hábito que hayas creado puedes aniquilarlo en tan sólo tres semanas y por medio de un reto que toma 21 días. Suena difícil de creer, pero soy testigo de lo que te voy a proponer.

Cualquier comportamiento que practiques por 21 días puedes hacer de él un hábito. Por ejemplo, si logras no encender un cigarro o mantener tu casa organizada por 21 días, sin ningún día libre, incluyendo los feriados, puedes convertir estas acciones en un nuevo hábito.

Esto lo aprendí en uno de mis libros favoritos: El monje que vendió su Ferrari, de Robin Sharma, quien explica en su bestseller, “La regla mágica del 21”. Sharma asegura, y yo reitero –porque lo experimenté- que es posible implementar un nuevo comportamiento si lo haces repetidamente.

En  mi caso, después de haber luchado por largo tiempo con el sobrepeso, y la falta de interés en hacer ejercicio, hoy día tengo el buen hábito de caminar o trotar todas las mañanas. Y cuando no lo hago, me siento como un pez fuera del agua. Esta nueva rutina que cambió mi vida la establecí desde que implementé “La regla mágica del 21”.

Lo mejor de todo es que para llevar a cabo esta regla, no hace falta dinero, estudios o compañía de otras personas, todo lo que necesitas son días, y quien único no cuenta con días son los muertos. Así que, si estás vivo, ¡no hay excusas! De la misma manera que yo logré la costumbre de ejercitarme diariamente, tú puedes hacer un nuevo hábito.

Ahora mismo toma el reto de los 21 días. Mira tu calendario y marca el día de hoy como el comienzo de un compromiso. Sigue esta regla mágica y te aseguro que soltarás una carga. Tu nuevo comportamiento se hará permanente en tu vida.